


Jack-O-Fail

by Amelia Abernathy (authr2b)



Series: Countdown to Halloween 2k15 [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Halloween, Jack-o'-lanterns, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authr2b/pseuds/Amelia%20Abernathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you let three young men near a truckload of pumpkins? A big fat mess and some borderline inappropriate jack-o-lanterns. </p><p>Day 4 of my Countdown to Halloween 2k15</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack-O-Fail

**Author's Note:**

> Another adventure in polyamory for me.
> 
> Semi dedicated to Tesla since her birthday is today and she's got to work. i don't know if she ships them as a group but figured she'd appreciate the thought and it'll cheer her up.

Armin was jolted awake by a loud thunking noise downstairs. He rolled over in bed and dug his face into the pillow. Another thunk echoed downstairs. Then another. Armin groaned and rolled out of the bed. Thunk after tunk sounded while Armin slumped down the stairs. he turned the corner and saw Jean and Eren carrying pumpkins into the kitchen. 

“What’s going on?” Armin asked. They looked over and grinned.

“We’re bringing in pumpkins.” Eren replied. 

“Yeah, I see that. But… why?” Jean shrugged. 

“We saw the sale on the way home and thought “what the hell?”” he replied. “So we figured with Halloween just around the corner we could decorate with them. The kids will love us.” Armin blinked slowly as they put down the pumpkins. 

“You do realize that Halloween is still like three weeks away and they won’t last that long, especially once we start carving them.” Armin pointed out. the other two looked at each other and shrugged. 

“We can make pumpkin pie and shit with them.” Eren said in response. Armin’s eyebrows rose and he shuffled into the kitchen where almost every available surface was covered with pumpkins of all varieties. 

“I’m not awake enough for this.” he grumbled. Eren laughed behind him and leaned down to kiss the top of Armin’s head. 

“You just go sit down, I’ll make you coffee.” he said, trying to hide his laughter. 

“Okay.” Armin turned right around and sat down on the couch. 

Jean dropped his pumpkin off and jogged back outside to get more pumpkins. 

“Hey babe!” eren called from the kitchen. 

“Which one?” Jean asked from the doorway. 

“The one that’s not very happy about the pumpkin surplus.” Eren replied. 

“What do you need?” Armin yelled. 

“Could you do me a favor?” 

“If you want me to put those pumpkins on craigslist you’ll have to wait.” He replied, flopping down on the couch. Jean laughed as he passed Eren leaving the kitchen with Armin’s coffee. 

“No, I was thinking that you can look for patterns you’d like me and Jean to carve on the pumpkins. We can look for them but since we were the ones to wake you up so rudely I figured we should do what you’d prefer.” Eren explained, handing the coffee down. Armin thought it over while he took a sip. 

“I guess I could.” He sighed. “So long as I don’t have to clean up after you two.” eren grinned and took Armin’s hand. 

“We won’t I pro-”

“Don’t promise anything!” Jean yelled from the kitchen. Armin rolled his eyes while Armin kissed his hand. 

“You won’t have to clean up after us.” Eren assured him. 

“Fine, get me the tablet.” Armin sighed. 

 

A few hours later Jean returned home with what he claimed was the best pumpkin carving set this side of the Amazon river. Eren had finished printing out the patterns that Armin had picked out and carried the papers into the kitchen before realizing it would be really hard to carve a pumpkin when you couldn’t keep your equipment or the tiniest boyfriend near you. 

So Jean and Eren cleared out a stretch of the counter and set up work. Armin sat down on the far end of the counter and watched the disaster unfold. 

Eren had read somewhere that pumpkins last longer if you cut them open on the bottom and pulled out the guts. So they tipped the first pumpkin on its side and reached for the paring knife. Armin wanted to tell them it might not be enough to cut all the way through, but decided it would be funner if he didn’t.

He was right. 

They couldn’t even get the tip of the paring knife through the tough skin of the pumpkin. Jean climbed onto the pumpkin and laid on it, thinking that it was moving to much to make any progress. Armin pulled his legs up and hid his smile while Eren tried to force the poor knife into the pumpkin. 

After a couple minutes of trying to cut through Armin slid over to them. 

“Hand me that kit you bought.” he instructed. Jean obliged and handed it over. Armin pulled out a long pick which he knew probably was for another reason than what he was going to do. He pushed lightly on Jean’s shoulder and moved to straddle the pumpkin. He took the spike and stabbed it into the pumpkin. 

“Okay, now use that saw thing to open it up.” Armin told Eren, pulling the spike out. Eren pretended he knew what he’d been doing but obeyed anyway. 

It took them a little while to saw a rather squiggly circle into the pumpkin, but then they realized they had a different problem. 

“So, how do we open it up?” Eren asked. “I’m used to pulling on the stump.” armin began to snicker as his boyfriends considered various methods of yanking the bottom off of the pumpkin. Eventually Eren ran into the garage and brought a crowbar into the kitchen. 

Their efforts at pulling out the bottom of the pumpkin made armin laugh so hard he toppled off the counter. This scared the crap out of Jean and Eren, who dropped the crowbar and rushed over to where he was still giggling on the floor, holding the back of his head. 

They helped him sit up and checked the goose egg that had formed on the back of his head. 

“That looks like it hurts.” Eren said softly. 

“Little bit.” Armin admitted. Eren wrapped his arms around Armin and kissed the back of his head. 

“I’d kiss the bump but I doubt you’d like that very much.” He said into Armin’s hair. Jean pouted a little bit. 

“Hey, budge over, there’s no room for me in this.” He insisted. Armin smiled and grabbed Jean’s hand, pulling him closer. Eren stuck his tongue out at Jean for a minute before Jean managed to get in on the group hug. 

They sat on the floor like that for a little while before Eren and Jean remembered that there was an unopened pumpkin on the counter. Eren got up and got back to work on the pumpkin while Jean effortlessly picked up Armin and placed him back on the counter. 

Before going back to the pumpkin he took Armin’s chin in one hand. 

“You be careful this time, okay?” Armin rolled his eyes in response. 

“Fine.” Jean smiled and pulled Armin over for a kiss. 

It took them another five minutes to pop the bottom off the pumpkin, and both Eren and Jean celebrated finally getting the damn thing off. 

“What did we learn from this?” Armin asked over a bowl of campbell's he’d been able to warm up while they went at the pumpkin. 

“From now on we’re cutting the top open.” Eren panted. armin nodded and went back to his chicken noodle soup. 

Jean brought over an empty trash can that they planned to put all the scraps of pumpkin in so that they could make compost and held it up to the bottom. Eren made a slightly disgusted face while he pulled the guts out of the pumpkin. 

“I should have bought disposable gloves.” he muttered. Jean snickered as the innards of the pumpkin fell into the trash can. Once Eren thought the pumpkin he turned to Jean with a mischievous smile. 

“What are you doing?” Jean demanded. Eren reached for Jean’s face with his gunky hand. Jean’s eyes popped and he backed away. “DON’T YOU DARE EREN!” 

Eren chased him around the kitchen for a while until he was able to trap jean in a corner and smear the pumpkin gunk all over his boyfriend’s face. Armin watched with a smile on his face as his two dorks argued in the corner of the kitchen. 

 

A good portion of the afternoon was spent emptying the guts out of pumpkins. 

Then Jean and Eren attempted to carve faces into the pumpkins. Armin tried not to say anything while they made uneven triangles for eyes on one pumpkin and an unintentionally jagged mouth. But when they picked up the pattern for a cat face he slid down the counter and plucked it out of their hands. 

“I have an idea.” he said. “There were some really cool things I found where you spray paint the pumpkin before carving it. So why don’t you two go find some halloween colors and some of those fake tea lights since we don’t have any candles and i’ll do the carving.” Eren cocked an eyebrow. 

“The reason we were doing this was so that you didn’t have to.” he reminded his boyfriend. Armin shrugged. 

“I honestly don’t think you two have the artistic ability to carve the pumpkins right. So, I’ll carve and you two spray paint and arrange them outside. 

Eren and Jean looked at each other for a moment then nodded. 

“If you want to.” Jean replied, pulling Armin’s head down to kiss it before leaving. Eren smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek and joined Jean on the way out to the car. 

Armin shook his head and began carving the cat into the tiny pumpkin. 

 

Jean and Eren returned home a few hours later after shopping for more Halloween decorations to put up around the house. 

The sun was setting when they pulled into the driveway. They joked around about what Armin could have possibly carved into the pumpkins while they were gone. Some of their ideas were extremely inappropriate and they knew that Armin would never carve them since he was too proper but they had fun. 

Jean was the first one through the door and yelled, “We’re back!” into the house. Armin didn’t reply and they both frowned, putting down their bags. 

“Maybe he’s in the bathroom?” Eren suggested. Jean shrugged and walked into the kitchen. 

“Found him.” He laughed. Eren joined him and saw Armin fast asleep on the counter, using a large pumpkin with Hogwarts carved into the front as a pillow. They looked around and saw a few other pumpkins carved with skeletons, ghosts, some disney characters, and one that had the evil mushroom from Mario. 

“Okay, maybe he was right.” Eren said softly. “I doubt we could do that well.” Jean nodded and walked over to where Armin was sleeping. 

“Why don’t you take the rest outside and spray them down?” He asked. “I’ll take him to the couch so that he can get more comfortable.” Eren nodded and walked over to the nearest un carved pumpkin. Jean picked Armin off of the counter and carried him over to the couch. 

He sat down on the couch and laid down with Armin, deciding that a nap was well in order. 

Eren sprayed half of the remaining pumpkins and took the already carved ones outside and arranged them on the porch where ants couldn’t get to them. He placed the first pumpkin that had been carved on the top of the steps and looked at it. An idea sparked and he quietly ran back inside, trying not to wake up his boyfriends on the couch. He grabbed the garbage can that contained the innards of all the pumpkins and ran back outside. 

He made a face but grabbed a handful of the seeds and shoved them back inside the mouth of the pumpkin, he repeatedly pulled handful after handful of gunks out and arranged them so that they flowed out of the mouth and onto the steps below. He grinned at his masterpiece and went back inside to wash his hands. 

Once he felt clean he walked over to the couch and carefully laid down with his head on Armin’s lower back. He fell asleep almost instantly. 

 

The next morning they were all sore from the weird sleeping arrangements. Armin stretched before going upstairs to change into running clothes. 

The other two were in the kitchen when he walked out the door. They heard him walk down the steps, stop, say something, then walk back up the stairs and throw the door open. 

“Which one of you put that damn pumpkin on the porch?” he yelled into the house. They looked at each other and walked out to where Armin was pointing angrily at the pumpkin on the steps. Jean walked over to look at the pumpkin and burst out laughing. 

Eren smiled bashfully. “I thought it would make people laugh.” 

“Yes, cause nothing’s funnier than a pumpkin throwing up on the porch.” Armin said with a serious eyeroll. “Seriously, what possessed you to do that?” 

“It already looked drunk so why not complete it with vomit?” Eren asked cheerfully. “If you want I can go inside and chug a beer to lean against the pumpkin.” 

“If I come back and there’s a beer bottle out here then you’ll be sleeping on the couch until Halloween instead of in bed with me and Jean.” Armin warned him. Eren nodded and Jean lead him inside while Armin jogged off in the other direction.


End file.
